When Pervez Musharraf resigned as President of Pakistan yesterday, the vision for the Perfect Presidential Ticket came to me. You know, just like the scene in The Blues Brothers where Elwood and Jake get their mission from God?
What this country needs is Vladimir Putin for President -- with Musharraf as his VP. Besides the obvious (no matter what they sometimes think in Atlanta, Georgia's never ever going to secede again with Vlad as President) a Putin-Musharraf ticket has tons of advantages over the Hobson's Choice between the Grumpy Geezer and St. Barack.
First, the Middle East. If Vlad had some real horses, say, control of the Pentagon rather than the somewhat decrepit Russian military, do you think the Iranians would ever even think of building a bomb ? Not bloody likely!
Also, the whole Israel/Palestinian thing would be settled tout suite -- Israel would have plenty of new parking lots, with an ample supply of Hamas/Hezzie compost to make the desert bloom.
Similarly, Iraq would settle right down, even as Guantanamo and similar places filled up, up, up. But this would be no problem, because we've got Vice President Musharraf to help us with a small matter of judicial reform. The guy who got rid of the whole Pakistani Supreme Court would hardly be bothered by the vaporings of Justices Kennedy or Ginzburg.
Speaking of vaporings, just think of how a Putin/Musharraf administration would improve the whole tone of political rhetoric. Politicians would actually be serious again. No more gasbag sermons (unbacked by any steel) from Condoleezza Rice, or Madeleine Albright, President Bush or others of the great and the good, about the spread of democracy in Iraq, or Afghanistan, or wherever. President Putin (like Mr. Ed) would never speak unless he had something to say, but if Vlad told somebody to get out of Georgia, or to stop their nuclear program, you could pretty much bet that non-compliance would produce something a little more noisy than harsh language.
Meanwhile, the sounds of silence from the Blowhard Temple in Turtle Bay would be absolutely golden. I sorta bet we'd hear less from Nancy Pelosi too.
Yep, the more I think on this, the better it sounds. I'm only half kidding.