Thursday, April 13, 2006

Welcome to Iran, Now Drop Dead

The International Atomic Energy Agency’s (IAEA) Director-General, Mr. Mohamed ElBaradei, arrived in Tehran today for “talks aimed at defusing tensions over Iran's nuclear program” the AP reported this morning.
In non-diplospeak, that means Mr. ElBaradei has arrived in Iran to be berated for the crimes of the west and of American imperialism personally, rather than having to listen to Iran’s bloviations second or third-hand. I hope Mr. ElBaradei took along ample supplies of Pepto Bismol.
The President and all-round Mullah lapdog of Iran, Mr. Mad Jad Ahmadinejad (how do you pronounce that moniker, Mad ?) is clearly ready to give Mr. ElBaradei a warm welcome: “Our answer to those who are angry about Iran achieving the full nuclear fuel cycle is just one phrase. We say: Be angry at us and die of this anger" AP quotes Mad Jad as saying.
Ouch ! I had a date talk to me like that once. For those of us who don’t know Mad-Mullah-Lapdog-speak, Mad Jad is saying “screw you, world.”
No matter how many ways the Mad Mullahs and their crazy stooge say “screw you, world” or “who's gonna make us ?” to Mr. ElBaradei and all the other members of the striped-pants set, the talks will no doubt be characterized by Mr. ElBaradei and all the other chattering class do-nothings as “constructive,” “enlightening” and “a real step forward.”
Anything to avoid creating a pretext to actually do something. After all, we can't have Mad Jad and his scurvy crew winding up victims of American imperialism.


Baron Bodissey said...

My heart sank when I read that Condi reacted to the latest news from Iran by asserting that the stern response of the United States would be to...

Refer the matter to the Security Council.

I thought, oh, yeah, that'll really put the fear of God into the mullahs.

El Jefe Maximo said...

Yeah, I'm sure Mr. ElBaradei will give them a real talking to while he's there.

If only Hans Blix gets involved... Then they're REALLY gonna see we're serious. ;-)