Thursday, January 19, 2006

Confederate Heroes Day

(an annual post)

. . . I feel no hostility to you, Senators from the North. I am sure there is not one of you, whatever sharp discussion there may have been between us, to whom I cannot now say, in the presence of my God, I wish you well: and such, I am sure, is the feeling of the people whom I represent towards those whom you represent. I therefore feel that I but express their desire when I say I hope, and they hope, for peaceful relations with you, though we must part. . .The reverse may bring disaster on every portion of the country; and if you will have it thus, we will invoke the God of our fathers, who delivered them from the power of the lion, to protect us from the ravages of the bear; and thus, putting our trust in God and in our own firm hearts and strong arms, we will vindicate the right as best we may.

Jefferson Davis, Farewell Address to the U.S. Senate, 21 January 1861. (From The Papers of Jefferson Davis, Vol. 7: 1861, LSU Press, 1992).

With all my devotion to the Union, and the feeling of loyalty and duty of an American citizen, I have not been able to make up my mind to raise my handagainst my relatives, my children, my home. I have, therefore, resigned my commission in the Army, and save in defense of my native State. . .I hope I may never be called upon to draw my sword.

Robert E. Lee, to his sister, Anne Marshall, 20 April 1861. (From The Wartime Papers of Robert E. Lee, Clifford Dowdey, Ed., Da Capo, 1987).

Today is the birthday of Robert E. Lee, and it is still recognized here in Texas as “Confederate Heroes Day,” a State holiday. Things being what they are, it is unlikely that the Texas statute book will honor Confederate heroes for very much longer, and like “un-persons” whom the Soviet Communist Party wished to banish from public view, Lee, Jefferson Davis and everything else to do with the Confederate States of America will soon vanish down the memory-hole. Our children, if they are wise, will learn to in public at least, mouth the proper politically correct platitudes and to recite on command the carefully packaged, all-inclusive happy pabulum that passes now for history in our schools.

We are told this is all for the best, but it doesn’t mean some of us have to like it. The names of Lee, Davis and legions of others who gave all they had for Southern independence, whose names would be household words, the Washingtons and Decaturs of a new country -- had they but won -- are becoming obscure to non-historians, except inasmuch as they serve the purposes of modern politicians and shills for various causes who promote their agendas by damning the memory of the dead.

Yes, the war was partly about slavery, and the end of that beastly institution was an unmitigated blessing. Yes, scum have stolen their flag and cloaked their racist fantasies in its folds. But that’s not the whole truth, any more than the War for American Independence (proper name of the Revolution) was all about a tax on tea.The 258,000 southerners who died for the independence of the Confederate States, and their comrades who survived the war to rebuild their broken civilization, are long beyond caring, and don’t require our approval or justification for their sacrifices. As so many said at the time, they believed they were taking up arms for the most worthy cause imaginable -- protection of their homes from hostile invasion, and to vindicate the same principle Americans died for in 1776: the idea that government should rest on the consent of the governed.

Americans not connected with the military in some way have largely experienced war a tragedy that happens in other places. Not so the War for Southern Independence (proper name for the Civil War), which was fought mostly in – and devastated – the American south. Despite the efforts and sacrifices of so many, Confederate soldiers were unable to successfully defend their country. American cities and fields became battlegrounds, and armies moved and camped in what are sometimes literally our backyards. American homes were plundered by soldiers speaking the same language, and often the same dialect, and American women and children became refugees. Some places never recovered. It’s hard to believe that Mississippi was once considered rich. When all was over, the dust settled, and the pain and shouting became but a memory; America was the better for the end of slavery, but when the Federal Government forced its yoke at gunpoint on those who did not want it, America lost something precious also.

Thankfully those days are past, but they are not totally forgotten. We of course remember the victors: Mr. Lincoln has a memorial in Washington, but his real monument is the country and world we now inhabit. But some of us remember others too…Lee, Davis, Micah Jenkins, Johnston Pettigrew, Cleburne, Jackson, Raphael Semmes, Maxcy Gregg, Thomas R.R. Cobb, thousands of others long dead. To borrow Mr. Khrushchev’s memorable phrase, these will not be forgotten, by some of us, until shrimp learn to sing.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Silly Season

It’s definitely the silly season for Democratic politicians. First, New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin has joined the ranks of Pat Robertson, Mahmoud “Mad Jad” Ahmadinejad and others able to divine God’s thoughts, because he tells us that “God is mad at America” and “sent us hurricane after hurricane after hurricane” and “put stress on the country.”

The Mayor also says that “…[i]t’s time for us to rebuild New Orleans – the one that should be a chocolate New Orleans….This city will be a majority African-American city. It’s the way God wants it to be. . .” It’s a good thing Mayor Nagan’s got a direct line to the Almighty, to tell us these things. In the same speech, the Mayor graduated from religion to séances, moving on to hold an imaginary conversation with Martin Luther King.

I don’t know if New Orleans will be Chocolate the way Mayor Nagan says he wants. Hopefully, it’s more Cookies and Cream. Unfortunately, if the good mayor keeps running his mouth, it’s more likely to be Rocky Road.

Meanwhile, putative Democratic Presidential candidate and current US Senator Hillary Clinton, besides running for President and serving in the US Senate from New York, is also an expert on the US House of Representatives, stating that this body has been “…run like a plantation and you know what I’m talking about…”

Eh ?

No, in fact I don’t know what she’s talking about. Senator Clinton couldn’t possibly have been using loaded words like “plantation” on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day while speaking to Al Sharpton’s National Action Network for political advantage ? She wouldn't !

Would she ?
UPDATE (evening, 17 January). This evening, the wires report that Mayor Nagin characterized his comments about God as "inappropriate" and said that he just wanted to convey that black people were a vital part of New Orleans, and that "I want everyone to be welcome in New Orleans — black, white, Asian, everybody." Nothing wrong with that statement.

Osama Pushing Up Daisies ?

Michael Ledeen, who probably is better informed about goings-on in Iran than almost anybody, says that Osama is dead. According to Ledeen, citing "...Iranians I trust, Osama Bin Laden finally departed this world in mid-December."
The old murderer supposedly died of kidney failure and "...was buried in Iran, where he had spend most of his time" since the destruction of al Qaeda in Afghanistan. Ledeen says his Iranian sources pointed out that the usual Al Qaeda yearly message in connection with the Muslim Haj to Mecca came, for the first time this year, from that unpardonably late dinner guest, Ayman al-Zawahiri, and not Osama.
This information seems to make sense. Osama has not appeared in public in several years, and it would seem to be in his interest to do so, just to prove such death rumors wrong.
Of course, if he really IS alive, and wants to make a public appearance, a good venue would be a nice large open field in downtown Tehran, preferably in a group appearance with Iranian President Mahmoud "Mad Jad" Ahmadinejad and Iranian Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. Maybe if we threw in a multi-course catered lunch, ol' al-Zawahiri would join them. I'm sure the USAF would be happy to provide lighting and entertainment.

Liaison, 1914

El Jefe’s readers possibly know that the Jefe enjoys reading military history. Lately, I have been reading Major-General Sir Edward Spears’s memoir Liaison, 1914 – the general’s account of his experiences as a British cavalry lieutenant (and intelligence officer), assigned to the staff of the French Fifth Army during the opening campaign of World War I.

Despite his (then) junior rank, Spears had tremendous influence: his credibility with both the British and French high commands doing much to insure these allies cooperated, after a fashion, in the early days of the war. Spears continued, in one position or another, as a liaison officer between British and French high commands throughout the First World War; ending it as cabinet liaison between the French and British war cabinets. During all this activity, he was wounded four times, mentioned in dispatches, and found time to marry an American heiress.

Spears, a great friend and supporter of Sir Winston Churchill, played a similar role in the Second World War, serving for a time as the go-between between the Churchill government and DeGaulle’s Free French.

Spears, fortunately, was a superb writer. Liaison, 1914, is his account of the opening campaign of World War I. I will have a fuller review later, perhaps, but if you are at all interested in this period, or in military history, take my word for it you should beg, borrow or steal a copy.
UPDATE: I had a rather lengthy quotation in here, but upon thought, removed it, as I don't wish to offend any copywright holders.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Moonbats Depart

...Finally, the searchers found El Jefe, passed out in his ornamental palace gardens near his simple, Versailles-like palace in beautiful downtown Cuidad El Jefe. The Great One was lying, clothed in a swim suit, Tuxedo jacket and Mickey Mouse watch, face down at the foot of Richard Nixon's statue.
The faithful Goomba guards rushed about in confusion, as She Who Must Be Obeyed and the Heir wailed; joined by El Jefe's cats, members of Parliament, his Consiligere, members of his (kitchen) cabinet, Big Media Personalities, the local Archbishops, Mullahs and preachers of the Gospel, the Corps Diplomatique, as well as El Jefe's latest mistress (who has an astonishing resemblance to Mindy Farrar, Penthouse Pet of the year 1980-something). Finally, after a whiff of his favorite Gruyere cheese, El Jefe slowly came around.
"Boy, I had the strangest dream" El Jefe intoned, rubbing a large, obvious bump (Peter Sellers as Inspector Clouseau would say "bimp") on his head. "I went liberal. I was saying Bill Clinton, Kofi Annan, Michael Moore and Barbra Streisand needed to be on the Supreme Court; that Iran was Society's Fault, that Iraq needed to be given back to Saddam; that Gore was really President; that somebody elected Ronnie Earle the Pope; that I wanted USC to win the Rose Bowl; and, that I had banned Mini Skirts." (elaborate shudder). "Wow, I was giving peace a chance. Smoked some really good dope too."
El Jefe shook his head, checking out the Mindy look-alike as he did so, saying that he was glad this had just been his imagination. As El Jefe looks fondly up at Nixon's statue, the world resumes its normal speed, and all is once again as it was. The cameras began moving backwards, away from the little tableau around Nixon, giving a view of the Palace Gardens; the Wine and Cheese cellar complex; the twelve Palace libraries; the Palace bars, night-clubs, casinos, restaurants, Churches and dance-halls; the whole vast Palace complex; and finally of all Ciudad El Jefe: noisy traffic in the streets, factories happily polluting, wiretaps busily bugging, as the credits roll, and the patriotic music plays.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

The Happy Couple

The rather vulgar "superstar rapper" Eminem, (a/k/a Marshall Bruce Mathers, III) and his ex-wife Kim have remarried.
Hurray for the happy couple. Suppose this is the triumph of optimism over experience...

Friday, January 13, 2006

Moonbat Court Dreaming (I)

Yes, it looks like that evil Sam Alito is going to be confirmed to the Supreme Court, so he can rubber-stamp Bush’s power grabs, his encroachments on the constitution, his imperialist wars. Instead of a Borking, Alito's just Swift-Boating right on by. Only the brave Senator Kennedy is left to swim against the tide.

Just as in the past we lefties stood against Fascism, for jobs, civil rights for minorities, for diversity, inclusion, tolerance and peace, the Left -- and its Democratic Party -- today carry on the fight for equally important goals: abortion, for campaign finance reform to silence those pesky blogs and for defea, --- oops, I mean withdrawal from Iraq.

Maybe Borking Alito is not really the answer we need. Even if we kept Alito off the court, and forced Evil Emperor Bush to go back to his Corpo Trade Federation Fat Cat backers and ask them for another robot, it doesn’t solve the underlying problem of what to do about America – always throwing its weight around in the world; not falling in with Europe’s plans for socialism and peace; raping the world’s resources and causing imperialist wars.
Clearly, (based on the last fixed election) almost 60 percent of the yokels in this country can't be trusted. A bunch of loud-mouthed, smelly, no-culture, Southern Red State rubes; who are not properly educated, eat red meat, who will not take the direction of their betters, who are hopelessly retro (still own flags and say the Pledge of Allegiance), listen to country music. We need to find a way to permanently checkmate these louts, until we can re-educate and get them properly Europeanized, or otherwise tranquilized...
What we REALLY need is an International Supreme Court, just for America, to keep Red State America in line and make it a true Kinder, Gentler Amerika; an Amerika that respects the rights of other countries, of minorities, women, the poor, the differently abled, those of non-majoritarian religions, or of no religion, the trees, the animals, and all the good people and things of earth.
Who would we want on this Court ? Something I’ll definitely have to consider as I drive to lunch at a trendy French restaurant, in my Volvo SUV, listening to Air Amerika.

Moonbats on the March

As I got up off my futon this morning, went into the study and fired up my first doobie of the day, started up John Lennon's "Imagine" and poured my first cup of organic rainforest coffee (beans grown by the unionized workers of People's Sandinista Coffee Union No. 5), I looked out the window and saw the Moon coming up to the west. Bats were flying round it in the darkness, and I thought what a great day it'd be to impeach that warmonger imperialist Bush.
I had our sub-minimum wage El Salvadorian maid/nannie wake up the Heir, then went back to stuffing envelopes for the Wal Mart unionization drive. Wal Mart makes me so mad I could spit ! Making Bush's international trade pals rich, importing all that cheap stuff from China, and throwing women and minorities here at home out of work! I snarled, startling the maid bringing me another cup of organic rainforest coffee, as she mistook my Rage at the Machine for disgruntlement at her. I redoubled my envelope-stuffing efforts (the better to avoid another silly talk about a raise). Besides, stuffing's important, have to help those less fortunate !
NPR was playing on the radio as I drove the Volvo SUV out of the garage, new "Is it 2008 yet ?" sticker firmly in place, right above the "Bush lied !" sticker; and my "Dean in 2008" and "Re-elect President Gore !" stickers. The radio is full of reports about Bush's new imperialist venture in Iran. Yes, the Empire is on the march again. Dick Cheney and Halliburton set to profit from more blood for oil ! The Iranians wouldn't want nukes if they weren't terrified of US imperialism.
The New York Times, unopened, sits on the seat next to me. The Times is our one real hope. If the Times keeps punching, and TV pitches in, maybe there will be enough scandals to stop Bush in his tracks. We can only hope. I arrive at work, humming the Internationale.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Moonbats a Comin...

Oh Wicca.. O unified spirits of Progressives/Commies, Moonbats and Wackos everywhere...
Tomorrow is Moonbat Friday. Help El Jefe to channel your dreams faithfully, to join the ranks, just for a day, of true Moonbats. Guide us, in the footsteps of Che, Michael Moore and Darth Chomsky. Give us access to the fell secrets of Moonbatdom.
Until tomorrow...

Hold on Moonbats...

For several reasons, putting a hold on Moonbat Day. . .

Moonbat Friday...

As El Jefe was driving back to his residence tonight, to his simple and humble palace, (on the order of Versailles), waving to the legions of peasants who had turned out to cheer, absently listening to Pacifica Radio...a thought came to him, (no doubt inspired by Daisy Cutter's list of the "10 worst Americans.")

It's time, said this thought, for El Jefe to indulge an occasional urge, an inner yearning as it were, or some kind of liberal sounding thing. Time to El Jefe to just open up, emote and let his Inner Chomsky roar. Gonna get out the bong; the Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young records; the "McGovern for President" buttons; find the tie-die shirts; avoid a bath, and put on the birkenstocks...

By Imperial Decree, Friday the 13th is hereby proclaimed the first annual, or semi-annual or whatever "Moonbat Friday." For Moonbat Friday, (ONLY), a kinder, gentler, truly anti-imperialist/moonbat, lefty wacko freak "Progressive" El Jefe will make an appearance. Friday, rationality's out the door. "Feelings" and PC are in. So get out your Che posters, be ready to show solidarity with our Gitmo brothers and sing the Internationale, (Billy Bragg's lyrics), and lets paint Amerika red !

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Numbers Game

El Jefe’s World. An occasional summary in random statistics of interest to El Jefe.
(No. 1, Part 1).
Price, gallon of Super Unleaded, Valero, Bellaire Boulevard, Houston: $2.43 per gallon.
Price, gallon of Regular Unleaded, Valero, Bellaire Boulevard, Houston: $2.27 per gallon.
Price of a 6-pack, St Arnold’s Beer, Kroger, Vanderbilt Square, Houston: .97 cents an ounds ($6.99 per six pack).
Price of a 12 pack Bud Light (calls itself beer), Kroger, Vanderbilt Square, Houston): .59 cents an ounce ($16.99 per twelve pack).
Price of Gruyere Cheese, Kroger, Vanderbilt Square, Houston: $14.99 per pound.
Price of Parmigiano-Reggiano.Cheese, Kroger, Vanderbilt Square, Houston: $19.99 per pound.
Sirloin Steak, roger, Vanderbilt Square, Houston, $6.99 per pound.
Rib-Eye Steak:, Kroger, Vanderbilt Square, Houston, $9.99 per pound.
Mrs. Baird’s Large White Sandwich (thing called bread): $1.69 per loaf.
Red Leaf Lettuce, Kroger, Vanderbilt Square, Houston: $1.99 per head.
Red Tomatoes: Kroger, Vanderbilt Square, Houston: $1.79 per pound,
Fish Eye Pinot Grigo 2004 white wine), Kroger, Vanderbilt Square, Houston: $799 per 750 ML bottle.
Yellow Tail Shiraz 2004 (red wine), Spec’s Houston : $6.99 per 750 ML bottle.
Santa Rita Merlot 2004 (red wine), Spec’s Houston: $5.22 per 750 ML bottle.
St Clement Chardonnay 2004 (white wine), Spec’s Houston: $15.78 per 750 ML bottle.
Veuve Cliquot, Champagne, Spec’s Houston: $35.78, per 750 ML bottle.
Special K cereal, Kroger, Vanderbilt Square, Houston: $4.39 per 18 oz box.
Tidy Cats Cat Litter, Kroger, Vanderbilt Square, Houston: $2.39, per 10 pound bag.

Price of a Big Mac (no cheese), McDonalds, Holcombe Boulevard, Houston, Texas: $2.29.
Pages in the March 2003 Houston Southwestern Bell Business Pages: (Listings for Houston only), 700 pp. (Sorry, most recent set at home and work !).
Pages in the March 2003 Houston Southwestern Bell Residential Pages (Listings for Houston only), 2208.
New York Stock Exchange, close, 9 January 2006: 11,011.90 (+52.59).
US Dollar to Japanese Yen (9 January): $1.00 = Y1.14.
US Dollar to European Union Euro(, 9 January): $1.00 = E0.82.
US Dollar to Canadian Dollar(9 January): $1.00 = Can $1.16.78.
US Dollar to UK Pound (9 January): $1.00 = L.5664.
US Dollar to Swiss Franc (9 January): $1.00 = F 1.2768.
Number of Fourth Graders at the Heir's School: 40.
Number of Fourth Grade Girls/Boys: 21/19.

Monday, January 9, 2006

Uh, Is that an iceberg ahead, Cap'n. ?

El Jefe has been sort of out of things, of late. She Who Must Be Obeyed (SWMBO) has had Lasek eye-surgery, the Mother In Law has been in town, and the Jefe is sort of behind the 8-Ball at work. But lots going on, which El Jefe shall pontificate on as soon as he can.

Big news out of Iran. The commander of the Ground Forces of the Pasdaran-e Enghelab-e Islami, the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps, (IRGC), General Ahmed Kazemi, has apparently been killed in a plane crash. Dead with General Kazemi are the IGRC Director of Intelligence, the IGRC Director of Operations, the IGRC staff artillery commander and an IGRC Infantry Division commander, plus some aides.
The IGRC is essentially the equivalent, in Mullah Iran terms, of Nazi Germany's SS. Check out the Winds of Change, Reuters, AP, and Belmont Club for more. An interesting quote on this business from Winds of Change:
...if you compare the frequency and prominence of current and ex-IRGC members in the current government to clerics you'll see that Iran looks less like a theocracy and more and more like a traditional military junta.

Planes go down, but I find the timing of this crash rather interesting. General Kazemi is interesting, Winds of Change says the General was part of Iran's effort in Lebanon in the 1980's, no doubt dealing daily with Hezbollah, and various other no-goodniks. Iran is, to put it mildly, under the gun, with a nutbar president, on the verge of having a nuke, and on a collision course with the United States. Where did General Kazemi stand ?
Meanwhile, Chester has returned, over at Adventures of Chester. I agree with him that there are icebergs right ahead, a vast disturbance in the Force or whatever your metaphor for an impending uh-oh may be. I think we're moving right toward some kind of blowup with Iran. Have a look at his piece, here. Meanwhile, our idiots of Congressmen and journalists can think of nothing more to do than play gotcha over wiretapping, Judge Alito and probably the location of Titanic's deck chairs. More on this subject later.

Saturday, January 7, 2006

Suicide in Haiti

The Associated Press is reporting that the commander of the United Nations Stabilization Mission in Haiti (MINUSTAH) Lieut. Gen. Urano Teixeira da Matta Bacellar (of Brazil), has been discovered quite mysteriously dead, apparently by his own hand. General Bacellar's body was found on the balcony of his room at the Hotel Montana in Port-au-Prince. The MINUSTAH press release says he was 58 years old, and had been in the Brazilian military for 39 years. General Bacellar has been replaced, temporarily, by a Chilean general.
Most curious. Although I would probably feel somewhat suicidal at being assigned responsibility for maintaining order in Haiti -- the place is a madhouse at the best of times -- Lieutenant-Generals are not usually of a suicidal disposition. Still, calling the UN role in Haiti a "Stabilization Mission" represents the triumph of optimism over experience. A better, more accurate name for the UN Mission would be "United Nations Chaos Management Mission in Haiti."

Thursday, January 5, 2006

Obligations to the Dying

Drudge reports this evening that Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon apparently suffered severe brain damage because of his cerebral hemorrhage yesterday. Drudge also reports, courtesy of Breitbart.com, that Pat Robertson says that the Prime Minister’s stroke was possibly divine retribution for “divid…[ing]…[God’s]… land” although this personally made him “sad.” Meanwhile, Iranian President Mahmoud “Mad Jad” Ahmadinejad says he hopes the Prime Minister dies.

What a curse to live in such times, among such people ! I hope Mr. Robertson is misquoted. I do not altogether approve of him, but despite my disagreements with aspects of his politics, I have thought, generally, that he meant well. But how classless ! Prime Minister Sharon is dying, and whatever he did in this life, (which I will comment on at another time), and whatever offenses he gave to others, will be judged and weighted at another place, by another One whose judgments are true and righteous altogether. What are the theories and suppositions of a parson; or the deluded rantings of a slavering demagogue, next to that ?

Chivalry indeed seems dead. But one cannot expect nobility out of montebanks, who are what passes for leaders and exemplars in the modern world. How can there be peace, ever, without decency ? I can only remember what Confederate States President Jefferson Davis (someone whom I deeply admire) said about the death of his most formidable enemy, United States President Ulysses S. Grant. President Davis had every reason to despise President Grant, to hate him, to revel in Grant’s slow, agonizing painful death by cancer of the throat. Whatever his private thoughts, President Davis had the decency and the humanity to keep any such thoughts private. When asked about Grant’s sufferings, President Davis said: “General Grant is dying. . . Instead of seeking to disturb the quiet of his closing hours, I would, if it were in my power, contribute to the peace of his mind and the comfort of his body.” Christ enjoined us to forgive our enemies. Could anybody do better than that ?

What can you make of people who are so dead to honor that they would say such things ? I can accept that some do not like Prime Minister Sharon, but let the man die in peace !

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to USC's Coronation...

El Jefe, as a University of Texas alum, is a happy camper this morning. What can ya say about last night but...HOOK EM !!!

Wednesday, January 4, 2006

Mark Steyn

Hie yourself off to the Wall Street Journal online and read this splendid piece by Mark Steyn: "It's the Demography, Stupid: The Real Reason the West is in Danger of Extinction." (You can find another link on Real Clear Politics). Mr. Steyn says, in substance, that if our Jihadist enemies win the present war, it will be our own doing.
Time constaints, for the moment, forbid much of a discussion, but the article is liberally salted with little gems like this: "Multiculturalism means your kid has to learn some wretched native dirge for the school holiday concert instead of getting to sing 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer' or that your holistic masseuse uses techniques developed from Native American spirituality, but not that you or anyone you care about should have to live in an African or Native American society. It's a quintessential piece of progressive humbug."

Happy New Year

Happy New Year !

Okay, the Iranian mullahs have or are getting a nuke, they want to build a missile and every day they come up with new threats and vaporings about the Great Satan, Israel, or whoever they want to wipe off the map this week.

Meanwhile, Bolivia has just sworn a Coca farmer in as President, who promises to clamp down on the drug trade. Uh huh, just like wheat farmers are into low carb diets. Meanwhile, Pres. Coca Farmer wants to join Nutjob Chavez and Fuhrer Fidel in an "Axis of Good" to counter what he calls a US led "Axis of Evil." Evidently the "Axis of Good" term is coinage of Dictator Chavez, and that's seriously what they call it -- an "axis."

Leaving aside the nuttyness, has anybody told these guys about the history of the term "axis?" Maybe about its first users 60 years back ? Okay, okay, El Jefe admits he'd like to see Chavez and Fidel wind up at the gas-station trussed-up like Signor Mussolini, but just from the marketing point of view, El Jefe suggests that the Three Stooges are getting some bad brand-naming advice.

While Persian and Latin nutbars want to spin the world off on wacko axes, all Washington can talk about is how shocked, shocked everyone is that our security apparatus might want to tap into communications between the US and abroad. Almost like they're worried wackjobs might want to blow us up or something ?

More comment on all this in due time. For some weird reason, people expect El Jefe to hold down a job.

Meanwhile, something of far, far bigger import than Mullahs with Nukes, or Sawdust Caesars ordering their white horses...

Drudge has a headline, lead-in or whatever, today: "Lindsay Lohan VANITY FAIR Confessional: The Drugs, the Eating Disorder, The Breakdown, The BreakUps, the Compulsive Spending...Stress...Showbiz Spiral..." Bet there aren't any Google searches today for Lindsay Lohan. Bet nobody ruins their mouse trying to bring this story up. No image searches on Ms. Lohan either. Sure. Do you think Vanity Fair wants to rack up some serious sales ? Makes El Jefe want to go out and buy Vanity Fair NOW, NOW, NOW. And just for the articles.

Saturday, December 31, 2005

Mad Jad Has a New Toy ?

Doctor Zin over at Regime Change Iran, in his Saturday post, states that CIA Director Porter Goss told the Turkish government that Iran has a nuclear weapon. Doctor Zin's source is Turkish Press.com
Very interesting...read the whole post here.
UPDATE: The Jerusalem Post and the Regime Change Iran blog (both citing the German press), report that the US and NATO are engaging in consultations regarding military action against Iran. The nature of these discussions is unspecified. The Jerusalem Post mentions CIA Director "Gus's" [Goss's] visit with the Turkish Prime Minister, saying he was there to request bases for such an assault. If this is anything like true, this probably means the US wants permission to use its big base near Adana, Incirlik Air Base.
The Post says that countries "... such as Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Oman, and Pakistan were also updated regarding the supposed plan..." and that plans are being "coordinated" with NATO.
Oh reaaalllly ? With this list of countries being "updated" and all those pro-American NATO countries being "coordinated" with, why aren't we just FedEx-ing our attack plans, together wtih a box of dates, some good tea, and a nice note telling the mullahs we're coming, straight to the offices of the Vezarat-e Ettela'at va Amniat-e Keshvar (VEVAK -- Iranian intelligence).
The source is interesting...the Jerusalem Post. Naturally, the Israelis are very concerned about an Iranian bomb, given that Mad Jad keeps threatening to wipe them out. I'd be inclined to suspect some Israeli maneuvering of some kind, but most of this information seems to be coming from the German and Turkish press. (Worth thinking on too, that the Germans and Turks are buddies from way back).
Outside of Israel, among the western powers, only the United States, and to a lesser degree, Great Britain, have real military ability to strike Iran. Were a resort to arms actually in contemplation, some discussions with other powers would probably be politically necessary. Still, given European political attitudes and the nature of the targets to be struck in Iran, all this "consultation" is as good as telling the Iranians that we're coming. Perhaps we're indeed coming, or maybe all this is just some sand in the mullahs' eyes: part of the ongoing "negotiations" between the Europeans, the Americans and the Iranians over the fate of the Iranian nuclear program.
UPDATE NUMERO TWO-O: Okay, this business now has my attention. The Times (London) says Pope Benedict XVI used his New Year's address for a "veiled attack on Iran’s hardline leadership" chiding "authorities" who "incite their citizens to hostility to other countries." Uh, Mr. President Mahmoud “Mad Jad” Ahmadinejad ? I think the Pope's paging you. He's not declaring a Crusade yet, but is your insurance all paid-up ?
The Pontifex Maximus also said "in another apparent swipe at Iran" that in "nuclear war there will be no victors, only victims" and he called for nuclear disarmament.

New Years Eve

Okay, tis New Years Eve, and your host, the Jefe, naturally has thoughts on where the year's going, where it's been, and other thoughts that he's sure his readers, millions actually, are dying to hear.
But he doesn't want to do it today.
El Jefe is tired, has Monday off of work, and doesn't EVEN want to work hard enough to write something today. I want to talk about last year's predictions....some right, some wrong, some wildly wrong....as well as trot out a batch of same for next year...but not just today.
Meanwhile, hope everyone has a nice New Year's Eve, gets to drink plenty of champagne; eat lots of yummy things; talk to interesting people; go to lots of cool parties; and find some leftover mistletoe someplace. Happy New Year !

Friday, December 30, 2005

Lunch

El Jefe, da Boss, and da Secretary have been to lunch for Christmas/New Years. Gone at 12:30 , it's now 2:30, and we're just staggering back.
We visited McCormick & Schmick's seafood restaurant in Houston, and El Jefe enjoyed the Black Drum (Gulf fish, caught around Palacios) and most of a bottle of St Clemont, 03 (Chardonnay).
Yum.
It's going to be a looonnnnng afternoon.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Germans and Kurds

Long breakfast, pouring over the New York Times. Several things of interest.

First, the Justice Minister of Niedersachsen (Lower Saxony), Herr Uwe Schünemann, told the German newspaper Die Welt that “known Islamic militants” should be “electronically tagged so their movements could be tracked.” Niedersachsen is one of the sixteen German States.

I think the good Herr Schünemann has an excellent idea, and in consequence I acquit him in advance of any malicious intentions. Keeping tabs on “known Islamic militants” and other people who want to blow us up seems pretty sensible to me. Too bad the Germans didn’t have such a program in place when Mohammad Atta called Hamburg home.

Still, am I the only one that sees a touch of, well, irony, in such a proposal coming from a German Justice Minister ? Mind you, it’s not a bad idea, and El Jefe in general likes Germans and Germany, but these are, after all, the people who invented the yellow stars-of-David from not so long ago. Stars of many other colors too.

Even more interesting is that such a proposal is in the back pages of the New York Times, and escapes entirely without comment from this journalistic beacon of civil liberties. Today’s editorial on foreign affairs is on Mubarak’s Egypt. You can bet your bottom dollar the editorial pages would be positively bleeding ink if the Governor of Texas or a pro-US foreign government such as Egypt or, God forbid, Israel, aired such a trial balloon. Of course, the Germans, as opponents of US Iraq policy, are in the Times’s good books…

A good story on page A-12 of the Times about the city of Kirkuk. That city, in northern Iraq, sits on lots of oil, and consequently, everybody wants it. The Kurds and Turkmens have a historic claim, but Saddam moved in Arab settlers because they were supporters of his government, and displaced lots of Kurds. Bottom rail on top now, and the Kurds are bussing in settlers as fast as they can: both former residents and new folks, trying to position themselves for a referendum on provincial status in 2007. The Kurds want the city included in their autonomous portion of Iraq.

The developing situation is interesting. The Kurds want independence, but neither the rest of Iraq nor the Turkish or Iranian neighbors want them to have it. Their only friends, for the moment, are the Americans. The Kurds have been the most reliable local US allies in the place.

The Kurds have, in practical terms, two choices. The first, and most rational, would be to grab all the autonomy they can get out of the central Iraqi government, and bend over backwards to get permanent US bases on their soil. Unlike the Shiites and Sunnis, the Kurds would probably like a long-term US presence, which guarantees their autonomy status and would keep the Turks and Iranians out. Control of the Kirkuk oil-fields would sweeten the pot. Neither the other Iraqis nor the neighbors would like this, but in the short term at least, there is little they could do about it. The joker in the desk is the willingness of the US to hang around long term. I would hope this would work: the US could do worse than having the Kurds securely in their corner.

The other choice is go full-bore for independence. Truly, the inclusion of Kurdistan in the Iraqi state, to begin with, was one of the greatest injustices of the post-World War I peace settlement, but outright secession at this point would be opposed by all non-Kurdish parties. Absent the total breakup of Iraq, I do not think this could be accomplished without US support, which, at the moment, is not forthcoming.

But the whole thrust of Kurdish policy seems to be autonomy now, and independence later, and this means Kirkuk will continue to be a flashpoint. An independent Kurdistan is not viable without the city, and the surrounding oilfields. The Sunnis and Turkmen are very, very upset about Kirkuk, which is possibly even more dangerous at the moment than Baghdad.

Watch Kirkuk. This city is the bird in the mineshaft. If Kirkuk can be pacified, the new Iraq, in whatever form it finally takes, will work. If not… it’s only a question of where the partition lines will be drawn, and how long the civil war will be.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Lets Pay Attention, Folks

The blog Officers' Club begins its 2006 predictions with the following chilling, but probably prescient prediction:

–I think that there will be a half-cocked attempt at a domestic terror attack… It will happen in the south, near a major artery of transportation (with operational support from personnel illegally entered into the US via the Mexican border)

Read the whole thing here. I completely agree with Officers' Club, with the proviso that we cannot count on an attempt being "half-cocked." Further, I will go the O-Club folks one better and tell my Houston friends that we really need to be on the qui vive, because in my humble opinion, our dear city is Number 1 in the terrorist bulls-eye, for a variety of reasons:

Proximity to the Mexican Border. Good for smuggling weapons and personnel in, and moving people out later.

Population. Our diverse, large and cosmopolitan population, and the traditional welcoming attitude of Houstonians towards newcomers and outsiders is made to order for concealing impending operations by a terrorist cell. Strangers with malign intent can move among us, reconnoiter their targets and plan attacks without attracting much suspicion.

Ties with the Arab World. Houston is nothing if not an oil town, and as such modern Houston has always had strong ties with the oil states of the Middle East, including, most pertinently, Saudi Arabia. Remember, 15 of the 19 September 11 hijackers were Saudis. Lots of Saudis, and others from the Muslim world, have lived and studied in Houston, and have contacts here. The recruitment pool of persons with basic familiarity with the target is larger than for other US cities, and this is a boon for terrorist planners tasked with getting their operatives in position to hurt us.

The Bushes. Houston is associated internationally with both the current President Bush and his father. From a propagandist’s point of view, Houston is an almost irresistible target for this reason alone.

Target-Rich Environment. Houston is a a Port of Entry to the United States by both air and sea; the Port of Houston is the second-largest US port in terms of tonnage handled. Oil, natural gas and the chemical industry virtually define our city’s economy. This part of Texas boasts the largest concentration of US refining capacity. 25 percent of US gasoline is refined in the Houston area. Recall that US refining capacity is strained right now because of damage to the Louisiana refineries caused by Hurricane Katrina. Finally, the Houston freeways, particularly the interchanges, are a vital node in our interstate transporation system -- much of our economy depends on the movement of cargo by truck.

Houston is in general a well-run city. Here’s hoping our Police, Fire and emergency services personnel are on the case, and that Mayor White and Judge Eckels are getting enough help and support in terms of intelligence and security liaison, support, assistance and advice from the Federal Government. As we can see from the liberals, and their recent vaporings over our, unfortunately, rudimentary counterintelligence efforts: there is a great temptation, four years on, to return to a “September 10” mentality. Unfortunately, there are people out there who want to drink our blood. Shame on us if we make it easy.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Grab Bag


Still getting ready for Christmas, trying to clear out a bunch of work before the end of the year, and feeling under the weather today (and yesterday), so posting is apt to be light through the weekend. Meanwhile, the Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays controversy rages on. I wish my Jewish friends Happy Hanukkah, but I dislike the generic "Happy Holidays." Much too PC for me -- hence the above pictorial comment. (Graphic from Gates of Vienna).
Hmmm...just glancing at the papers, Saddam Hussein says the Americans have tortured him and that denials of same are lies. Mr. Saddam's had more people murdered than I have had hot dinners, so my heart is not exactly bleeding for the man.
The print edition of the New York Times today has an article about improvements the Israelis are making to their barrier fence between Israel and the occupied territories. The changes are intended to make traffic between Israel and the West Bank move faster, which should benefit Palestinians who need to move back and forth. But the Palestinians are unhappy, because the Israelis are essentially treating the fence like an unnegotiated international border. This amounts to a land-grab, the Palestinians say. Maybe, but what of it ? I would find it easier to muster some sympathy for the Palestinians if they had shown any interest at all in stopping murder-suicide bombers from blowing themselves and hundreds of civilians up in Israeli shopping centers and on city streets.
The Senate has given the USA Patriot Act a six-month extension. Thank God for small miracles. Meanwhile, the Democrats are all a-twitter about the National Security Agency intercepting international telephone calls without a warrant. Inasmuch as governments have been doing that like, forever, I find it hard to get worked up about that. More on that another time. Wonder how many of us the Left thinks its okay to kill just so terrorists get their civil rights ? What world do they live in ?

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Invasion !

Casa El Jefe is under occupation by an army of the Heir's friends, from school and other places. SWMBO fed them dinner and organized a movie, whilst El Jefe dropped by his friend T's for a chat, and now El Jefe is entertaining/trying to get them settled in...possibly into the wee small hours ? How late can 10 year olds go ???

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Advent of the Raptor

Splendid and timely news from the US Air Force (hat tip, Vodkapundit). As of tomorrow: the F-22 Raptor is operational. The 1st Fighter Wing’s 27th Fighter Squadron is apparently the first Air Force unit to deploy the Raptor. According to General Ronald E. Keys, commander of the USAF’s Air Combat Command: “If we go to war tomorrow, the Raptor will go with us. I declare Initial Operational Capability for the F-22A as of 15 Dec o5.”
The F-22A is truly an awesome machine, and unquestionably the finest fighter aircraft on the planet. Bravo for the Air Force.

Singe the Mullahs' Beards

“We did not carry out the Islamist revolution in order to introduce democracy. . .Our revolution seeks to achieve worldwide power…I am a pure fundamentalist.”

Mahmud “Mad Jad” Ahmadinejad, President of Iran

"And now… set Europe ablaze!"

Winston S. Churchill, Prime Minister of Great Britain, to Hugh Dalton, Minister for Economic Warfare, upon Churchill’s creation of the “Special Operations Executive” to organize sabotage, guerrilla warfare and other covert warfare type operations in German-occupied Europe.

Iran is all over the news this morning. Elections in Iraq are tomorrow and according to the New York Times, the Iraqi Interior Ministry reports that this evening, (Iraq time) Iraqi Border Police intercepted a tanker truck stuffed full of forged ballots which had just crossed the border from Iran. Under interrogation, the driver evidently told the police that several other trucks had crossed from Iran at different points.

It is not news that the Iranian government would like to influence the Iraqi elections. But the Mad Mullahs – and Iraq and the US, would do well to remember that border smuggling can work both ways.

Speaking of Mad Mullahs, AP reports today that Iran’s President Mahmoud “Mad Jad” Ahmadinejad says that the Holocaust was a “myth” started by Europeans to create a Jewish state in the Muslim world. The ever-quotable Mad Jad tells us: “Today, they have created a myth in the name of Holocaust and consider it to be above God, religion and the prophets.”

Mad Jad’s latest pronouncement amplifies his declaration last week while in Saudi Arabia that the proper place for Israel would be in Europe – specifically in Germany or Austria. Today, Mad Jad said: “This is our proposal: if you committed the crime, then give a part of your own land in Europe, the United States, Canada or Alaska to them so that the Jews can establish their country.”

No word yet that the Israelis are packing for Bavaria or Alaska: instead, Prime Minister Sharon has ordered his armed forces to dust-off their plans to strike Iran’s nuclear facilities, and to be ready to go by March. Quite aside from the huge military difficulties Israel would encounter if it chose to exercise its military options against Iran, Israeli preparations seem quite reasonable, given that Mad Jad said in October that Israel needed to be wiped off the map.

I have been threatening for weeks to inflict my plan for dealing with Iran on my readers, but procrastinating about putting letters to electrons. No further excuse for delay because today, Herbert Meyer, a former Special Assistant to the Director of Central Intelligence (DCI), and once a Vice-Chairman of the CIA’s National Intelligence Council – writes with the same idea.

As Mr. Meyer so rightly says we should aim higher than Iran’s nukes. Our real objective should be the whole enchilada: an end to the Mullah regime. This is achievable. As Mr. Meyer, and others, including Michael Ledeen correctly point out:

…Iran today is in a classic pre-revolutionary state…Today, by every credible measure, the Iranian population hates its government. And within the population, nowhere is this hatred of the government greater than among the young people – and fully 70 percent of Iran’s population is under the age of 30. These young people have been risking their lives by demonstrating against the regime – week, after week – for at least two years. Moreover, the kids never miss an opportunity to make clear their desire for friendly relations with – of all countries, the United States.

No, neither El Jefe, nor Mr. Meyer, nor Mr. Ledeen, nor others who point out what the mainstream media ignores except on the back pages – that the Mullahs are in trouble – are on crack. At least 200,000 Iranians are emigrating a year. Despite all the oil wealth, Iran suffers from at least 20 percent unemployment – and that’s on official figures, widely known to be fudged. Inflation is at almost 20 percent. . While the population has grown by a third since the end of the Shah, the economy, in real terms, has lost a seventh of its 1979 value.

The regime is disunited at the top. The Iranian Majlis, the Parliament, stuffed with supposed adherents of the clerical regime, late last month rejected Mad Jad’s third nominee to head the Petroleum Ministry, only approving a fourth nominee on 11 December. The Majlis has rejected nominees for other cabinet posts. Mad Jad’s rival, former President Hashemi Rafsanjani had powerful and influential supporters who have made lots of money off the present bandit regime, and who have reason to fear Mad Jad’s puritanical streak.

Even Mad Jad’s erstwhile supporters seem to think that he is something of a rube: according to the AP story on Mad Jad’s holocaust denial “[i]nside Iran, …[Mad Jad’s] remarks have been criticized by some of his conservative allies, who fear he is hurting the country’s image.” Still, in Mullah terms, Mad Jad is not wacky – the real ruler of Iran, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei (affectionately known to some of us as “Ali Shah,” cause Shah’s what he acts like) - still approves of him.

But this is just the top leadership, and its cronies – really a very small group of people. Iran is a huge, potentially quite rich, country. The country is misruled, but may not always be so. The time to topple the regime is NOW, before it has a nuclear weapon, and before the increased confidence in its prospects can buy the regime allies, and find it foreign funds (from China, chiefly).

If the mullah regime gets nukes, it will be immunized overnight from retaliation for every kind of outrageous conduct, short of use of nukes, because a nuclear state is impossible to retaliate against without unacceptable risk. Despite their economic problems: caused by misrule and corruption, the price of oil means Mad Jad and his cronies always have options. Hiding behind a nuclear shield, the Mullahs and their intelligence organizations could go hog-wild with covert action and support of terrorism all over the Middle East, and nobody could do squat.

However, it appears to me to be too late to prevent Iran from getting a nuclear weapon. They are too far along in the process, the production facilities are dispersed, and the Iranians have built up the requisite technical base and have the educated people to make weapons. More importantly, the Iranian leadership and professional classes, whatever they think of the Mullahs and their regime, WANT the weapons. Recall the last Shah and his talk about building a “great civilization.” Nukes are prestige, as well as power. The Iranians, one way or another, are going to make a nuclear weapon.

It follows that if there must be an Iranian nuke: (and there must, because it’s too late to stop it), than this nuke must be in the hands of a normal government. This can be done. The Iranian government and senior religious establishment is barbarian and corrupt, the Iranian people are not. The one place in the Middle East right now, outside of Israel, where people actually like Americans is Iran (don't be deceived by the rent-a-mobs on TV). The one Muslim country where the whole concept of an Islamic state has been almost completely discredited is Iran.

It can be done.

The Iranians want to smuggle ballots into Iraq do they ? Hey Mad Jad – we can smuggle the other way too. The Iranian regime with all its big talk about wiping out Israel, and the “great Satan” and “worldwide power” ought to get what it's pushing back in spades. What I would like to see is a full scale effort, by all means short of war, to wreck this regime: money for dissidents, small arms, propaganda. Plenty of Iranians hate the mullahs, and we ought to be arming and paying all of them.

The Iranian economy is hurting a little. Inflation there is pretty high: how much higher would it be if millions of counterfeit Iranian rials started showing up from across the Iraqi border ? Come to think of it, an F-16 is about $15 million a copy. How bout smuggling the cost price of ten or so in dollars into Iran for free distribution to ordinary Iranians and enemies of the regime ? A great investment: get inflation growing like crazy, which would give the mullahs fits, but all the free simoleons would probably give a bunch of regular folks a hell of a good time first.

All the decadence of the west can be turned loose on the Mullahs for the good cause of making Mad Jad sweat. How about tanker trucks stuffed with People Magazine, or copies of Penthouse and Us or even the ever-vapid National Enquirer ? Ramp-up smuggling of liquor, drugs, porn, you name it, lets ship it. This is the era of digital film: How bout circulating a few billion smuggled videos of all the top mullahs playing patty-cake with cows, dogs and goats ? All kinds of possibilities and dirty tricks are out there. Won’t the religious police go nuts ? These are people who go ape when men and women share elevators. How wacked-out will they get about millions of pictures of Britney Spears's belly-button ? The more repressive the police, the more ordinary folks hate the regime.

If the Iranians want to interfere with their neighbors, that can go both ways. We can even do well by doing good: got to be plenty of Sunni Arabs in Iraq who haven’t forgotten about the Iran/Iraq war, who might be overjoyed to assist with such a program.

Meanwhile, let the Israelis get their military ready. Lets get our own air and naval forces ready. As Mr. Meyer says: “[g]iven the alternative of a massive attack by Israel, with or without help form the U.S. Air Force, a coup or a revolution may not strike at least a few of Iran’s political and military leaders as such a bad thing.” Perhaps the other steps I suggest might jog their elbows a bit, also.

The Mullahs want to play. We have an available countermove. Take a leaf from Churchill – set Iran ablaze.
ADDENDUM: Mr. Meyer's piece at Real Clear Politics is called "Leave the Nukes, Take out the Mullahs." Amen, but I keep thinking of that great line from The Godfather, when Clemenza said to Rocco, after wacking Don Vito's (supposedly) traitorous driver: "Leave the gun. Take the cannoli."

Thursday, December 8, 2005

Casus Belli

In the world according to Saddam, the unraveling of communism in Eastern Europe and Mikhail Gorbachev’s desperate plight in Moscow meant that the world was suddenly left with a single superpower. Saddam…surprised his fellow Arab leaders. The United States, Saddam said, “with its known capitalist approach and its imperialist policy…will continue to depart from the restrictions that govern the rest of the world.” With the retreat of their Soviet protector, Arabs would be in greater jeopardy than ever…“…the country that will have the greatest influence in the region through the Arabian [Persian] Gulf and its oil will maintain its superiority as a superpower without an equal to compete with it. This means that if the Gulf people, along with all Arabs, are not careful, the Arabian Gulf will be governed by the US will. If the Arabs are not alerted and the weakness persists the situation could develop to the extent desired by the United States, that is, it would fix the amount of oil and gas produced in each country and sold to this or that country in the world.”

Saddam Hussein, February 1990, at a meeting of the Gulf Cooperation Council in Amman, Jordan, prior to Gulf War I, quoted in Triumph Without Victory: The Unreported History of the Persian Gulf War, (US News and World Report Books, 1992, p. 16).

Hopper: “It's not about food; it's about keeping those ants in line.”

A Bug’s Life (1998).

Yesterday, Tom Bevan over at Real Clear Politics teed-off on Chris Matthews’s Hardball dissection of Vice-President Cheney’s speech at Fort Drum, New Jersey. Mr. Bevin quotes Mr. Matthews as saying “I watched the vice president…and…I heard something different than we are just building a democracy over there. I heard we are fighting for American influence. It was a much more traditional position about geopolitics…He says we have a right to be there in force; we’re going to stay there. I thought he was staking a claim to the oil fields of Arabia…we belong there like we belong there in Texas or Wyoming.” (emphasis subtracted).

Mr. Bevan dismisses this as “wackiness.” I’d agree with him about the rantings re Texas and Wyoming, but as for “fighting for American influence” -- I’d have to say DUH. This was always the main reason to invade Iraq.

Speaking as an outside observer, an elector evaluating the claims of my country’s politicians, and, then, as now, a supporter of the invasion of Iraq. I never, ever believed that Saddam’s nuclear, chemical or biological weapons were an imminent threat, to the US at least – in 2003, so I never bought the WMD argument as a casus belli. Moreover, I don’t think anybody in the administration really believed this either. I certainly thought, along with virtually everybody else who had looked into the matter – that the Iraq invasion would uncover, at least chemical weapons, and evidence of a nuclear and biological weapons program.

My own opinion was that Saddam was lying low in the late 1990’s, (probably at least since President Clinton’s Operation Desert Fox) and in 2001-03, and waiting for UN sanctions to be lifted before resuming WMD efforts. But, again in common with everybody else who had any claim to knowledge on this issue, I always thought the invasion would uncover weapons – and am still not totally convinced that Saddam did not have a WMD program in 2003.

But this was never, for me, ample reason for war. The WMD business was simply the lowest common denominator that would produce UN and European support for war. Similarly, extending democracy and crushing a tyrant are both good things, but I never would have accepted them as legitimate causes for war with Iraq, either, at least the sole causes. Certainly these would be ample reasons for covert efforts to damage the regime, insofar as such was possible, but not reasons for an invasion.

Fighting for and extending US influence, for me, were the only reasons justifying war with Iraq in 2003. Liberals point to US support for Saddam’s Iraq in its war with Iran in the 1980’s as evidence of US hypocrisy on Iraq, but the liberals, unknowingly, are making my point. Had the Saddam regime continued what amounted to a pro-US policy in the early 1990’s: i.e. hostility towards the anti-US clerical regime in Iran; confining itself to mostly rhetorical support for the Palestinians; opposition to radical religious movements in the Sunni Arab world; and more-or-less good relations with the pro-US conservative monarchies of the Gulf, no doubt the US would have continued to hold its nose and deal with Saddam. And the US would have been right to do so: we have no Holy mission to democratize the planet: we are the friend of liberty everywhere, but the guardians only of our own.

But Saddam, after his stalemated war with Iran, chose to turn away from a somewhat pro-US foreign policy, and go into business on his own. Lets give the devil his due: Saddam did this for the best of good reasons – a bid for his own empire. Deeply in debt to Kuwait, with no Soviet Union to queer his pitch, Saddam decided to eliminate his money problem by robbing the bank. On 2 August 1990, Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait.

Saddam occupied, plundered and brutalized a US client state. Had Saddam’s invasion of Kuwait been allowed to stand, no pro-US government in the region could have deemed itself secure, and all would have hastened to align themselves with Saddam. Read the quotation above – Saddam understood precisely what he was doing: with the demise of the Soviet Union, the choices for the Persian Gulf were an American empire, or his own. Had his gambit worked, Saddam, overnight, would have controlled directly or by proxy, almost all Middle Eastern oil outside Iran, and graduated to the class of major world mover and shaker, a real Nebuchadnezzar, not a minor-league dictator.

Such a result would have been even more certain had Saddam, following a brief pause for re-supply of his Republican Guard formations – proceeded beyond Kuwait and taken physical possession of the Saudi oil fields and ports. It is difficult to see how the first President Bush could have mounted Desert Storm then, even had he wanted to. Saddam must spend nights in his prison cell regretting his hesitation.

But Saddam didn’t, Bush Senior did, and Saddam and Iraq were defeated. Rather than making the best of things and accepting his defeat, Mr. Saddam obeyed the cease fire terms only insofar as he was forced, and elected to play patty-cake with Osama, shelter scum like Abu Nidal and Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, pay stipends to the families of Palestinian suicide bombers, and allow his intelligence organization to operate terrorist training camps.

But on 11 September 2001, the rules changed. The United States learned that it could no longer afford to suffer the existence of unfriendly regimes that wanted nuclear weapons, and, at the least, turned a blind-eye to anti-US terrorists; in a part of the world containing the most vital of strategic minerals. On 20 September 2001, the Baath regime in Iraq was warned by President Bush:

Our response involves far more than instant retaliation and isolated strikes. Americans should not expect one battle, but a lengthy campaign, unlike any other
we have ever seen. It may include dramatic strikes, visible on TV, and covert operations, secret even in success. We will starve terrorists of funding, turn them one against another, drive them from place to place, until there is no refuge or no rest. And we will pursue nations that provide aid or safe haven to terrorism. Every nation, in every region, now has a decision to make. Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists. From this day forward, any nation that continues to harbor or support terrorism will be regarded by the United States as a hostile regime. . .

. . . This is not, however, just America's fight. And what is at stake is not just America's freedom. This is the world's fight. This is civilization's fight. This is the fight of all who believe in progress and pluralism, tolerance and freedom.

We ask every nation to join us. We will ask, and we will need, the help of police forces, intelligence services, and banking systems around the world.

(emphasis in bold supplied)

Saddam and his secret police’s flirtings with our enemies were known. The Saddam regime had a proven track-record of continuous anti-US hostility, both rhetorical and otherwise, after Gulf War I; not to mention aggression against its neighbors, including pro US states. In the post-9/11 world, the burden was thus on the Saddam regime to prove to America that it was safe to allow it to survive.

If Saddam Hussein wanted to keep his seat, his course was clear: prove to the US government’s satisfaction there was no possibility that Iraq wanted to obtain WMD’s; arrest or kill terrorists and anti-US persons within his borders; cease the rhetorical war against the US and its allies; accept and comply completely with all cease fire terms of Gulf War I; and order his intelligence and secret police authorities to assist the Americans against Al Qaeda. Absent these or similar steps, no amount of games in the UN were going to save him.

Had Saddam done these things he would no doubt be sitting in his palace in Baghdad, a happy tyrant. But Saddam elected instead to serve as a central-casting example of a Bad Guy, an obnoxious, open, proud and publicly defiant anti-American dictator. His deposition and hanging are the reasons for this war: when he hangs dead from a noose: he will be the perfect object lesson as to the consequences of playing games with Uncle Sam. Of course the war was about “extending our influence,” about “educating” Middle Eastern regimes on proper behavior and getting them to do our terrorist hunting for us. DUH.

Of course, Americans don't like the idea of Empire. We drive foreign cars, drink German beer, wear clothes made in China, and guzzle Saudi oil like Coca-Cola, but God forbid we call a spade a spade and admit that the USA is a world empire. Of course it is, as much as Britain or Rome ever were. But we have to disguise it. This, of course, explains the difficulty President Bush has encountered explaining the reasons for the Iraq War: it's simply not politic to say that the reason for the war was to hang Saddam so that we could frighten other sovereign states into doing what we tell them. But it is, none the less, quite true.

Friday, December 2, 2005

The Sun of Austerlitz

Soldiers !

The Russian army is presenting itself before you in order to avenge the Austrian army...

...I shall direct your battalions myself. I will hold myself far from the firing if, with your accustomed bravery, you carry disorder and confusion into the ranks of the enemy. But, if victory should for a moment be uncertain, you will see your Emperor expose himself to the first blows; for victory shall know no hesitation during this day, when the honour of the French infantry is at stake, which means so much to the honour of the whole nation...

Napoleon

Proclamation of Emperor Napoleon I to his army, morning, 2 December 1805 (From Claude Manceron, Austerlitz, [W.W. Norton and Co., New York, 1966, pp. 174-75]).
Exactly one year after his coronation in Paris as Emperor, 200 years ago today, Napoleon I won his greatest victory, at Austerlitz, in what is now the eastern Czech Republic, over the combined armies of Austria and Russia. Sometimes known as the "Battle of Three Emperors" because the Emperors of France, Russia and Austria were all present, or at least nearby; Austerlitz, along with the Battles of Jena (1806), and Friedland (1807), gave Napoleon effective control of Europe.
36 years old on the day of his greatest victory, Waterloo was not even a shadow on Napoleon's horizon. French hegemony in Europe seemed assured for at least a century. Despite having the smaller army, the Emperor knew its quality -- having such confidence in his troops that he actually promised to stay back from the fighting; and the troops having such belief in him both as leader and talisman that they begged him to do so.
The Russians and Austrians adopted the precise plan Napoleon predicted: and, as the day wore on, and a brilliant sun chased away the early morning fog, the Allies paid heavily. The French suffered 8-9,000 casualties, but the Austro-Russians lost some 30,000 killed, wounded or captured. Napoleon's column on the Place Vendome in Paris is cast from the 180 or so Russian and Austrian cannon captured at Austerlitz. On hearing of the battle, William Pitt, Prime-Minister of Great Britain, organizer of the alliance against the French, said "roll up that map of Europe, it will not be wanted again in our time." Pitt died just over a month after Austerlitz.

Soldiers,
I am well pleased...!
You have, on this day of Austerlitz, justified everything that I expected of your intrepidity; you have covered your Eagles with an everlasting glory. A 100,000 man army, under command of the Emperors of Russia and Austria, was, within less than four hours, cut to pieces or dispersed. What escaped your blades drowned in the lakes. Forty flags, the banners of the Russian imperial guard, 120 pieces of artillery, twenty generals,more than 30,000 prisoners, are the result of this day now famous forever. . .
It will be enough for you to say "I was at the Battle of Austerlitz" for one to reply: "There is a brave man."
Proclamation of Napoleon I to his army, following Austerlitz. (from Manceron [see above] and Wikipedia, with corrections and modifications to Wikipedia translation by El Jefe.

Thursday, December 1, 2005

One of Those Who Am I Things

I am not usually given to self-revelation, but occasional bouts of truthfulness are enjoyable. My friend T, earlier, put up her answers to these questions. I found the exercise entertaining, so here goes:
Personal Stats: Born in Alabama, moved to Texas when I was eleven, away for eight years, and in Houston the rest of the time. Married for eleven years to SWMBO (She Who MUST Be Obeyed), with one child (Heir, age ten), and three cats, MILO, FLINKY and SUNSHINE, who are really children too.

Fantasy Dinner: Okay, this is a fantasy…so most of my guests would need a Oujia board; that or I’ll have to wait for an afternoon in the Elysian Fields. Hmmmmm, to dinner: Me, SWMBO of course, Julius Caesar, Napoleon, Cleopatra, Charles de Gaulle, Winston Churchill, Alexander Hamilton, Carl von Clausewitz, Marilyn Monroe, Henry Kissinger, Niccolo Machiavelli, Hortense de Beauharnais, George Patton, Tom Clancy, George W. Bush, Vladimir Putin, Margaret Thatcher, Elton John, John Glenn, Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, Charlton Heston, Georgi Zhukov, Chester Nimitz, Hu Jintao, Lee Kuan Yew, Otto von Bismarck, Augustus Caesar, Wretchard from over at Belmont Club Blog, the Baron and Lady D from Gates of Vienna, Sam Adams, the Duke of Marlborough, and George Washington.
Oh yeah, Michael Moore, because every crowd needs a butt for comic relief; Anna-Nicole Smith, for her deep thoughtfulness and intellectualism; Jennifer Aniston, Mariah Carey and Elisabeth Shue (just because); and my sixth grade English teacher (wherever she is – she was so nice and just so God-awful gorgeous).

I have this somewhat guilty wish to talk to Lenin and Stalin too, (stare at the abyss and it stares right back), but not over dinner.

Couldn’t live without: Family, computer, an occasional glass of scotch, fast cars, red wine, steak, seafood, German beer, chocolate, the sound of the ocean occasionally, intervals of peace and quiet.

People are surprised that: I’m shy until suddenly I’m not.

Greatest Indulgence(s): Gruyere cheese, time to read.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Full Decks

El Jefe has not been posting this week, restricting himself to occasional comments elsewhere, because he is rather buried at work. Blogging is not forgotten, however: El Jefe has a full list of targets that will be serviced as soon as time allows.

Friday, November 25, 2005

The Dear Leader Visits the Troops

ITAR-TASS, the Russian news agency, reported yesterday that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il visited his troops for the sixth time in a month, on this latest occasion inspecting the 2nd Guards Infantry Division. (Hat tip: orbat.com). Tinpot Kim praised his soldiers' combat readiness, saying that one of his can lick hundreds of "his enemies" thanks to "intensive training." Okay Mr. Kim. Down here in the South, we used to say one Confederate could lick ten Yankees.
The Dear Leader apparently spent quite a lot of time on his insepcting, visiting a barracks, the canteen, warehouses, and personally interviewing soldiers on their living conditions, and posing for photographs. All laudable, but pretty useless unless it was a surprise visit.
Why is Dear Leader Kim visiting the troops so much ? ITAR-TASS says that "foreign experts" in Pyongyang believe Kim is doing it to provide moral support and to ensure his soldiers keep backing the leader. The personal touch to these visits: Kim's interviews with the troops, asking about their food, etc., etc. -- makes this plausible. Actually talking to the Dear Leader, son of the deified Great Leader, probably really is like speaking with God for North Korean peasant soldiers. But why ? Why does Kim need to make sure the troops are backing the leader ? Why do the troops need moral support ? Is something stirring in the Hermit Kingdom ?

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Space Capsules, Pictures and Field Marshals

El Jefe is back from a trip with SWMBO and the Heir to Washington, D.C. SWMBO played tourist for awhile, but she needed to attend an accounting seminar part of the time, so Heir and El Jefe were left to their own devices for some of the time. Was so cool to go play tourist ! So as not to disappoint the locals, and undercut their feelings of superiority on their own turf, I made sure to go the whole turista monty: wearing loud clothing, including a hat with a Texas flag on it, spending lots of money on knick-knacks and gew-gaws I really don’t need, as well as burying my nose in my handy Frommer’s guidebook as necessary.

I have some experience in Washington, and thought that the city was both cleaner than I remembered it in the late 1980’s, and a whole lot more locked-down, no doubt due to 9/11. If you want to do the White House tour, or meet your Congressman, call and get reservations way in advance. No more FBI or Pentagon tours, at least for the present. Probably, on balance, a good thing, I have always thought it a trifle odd that the general public could go tramping through the FBI and Pentagon: places where serious people actually do real work, as distinguished from most of the politicos inhabiting that city.

The Heir and I did walk past the White House (very large, very white, lots of guards). Pennsylvania Avenue is still closed off right in front of the Executive Mansion, with semi-permanent barricades at each end. Big metal round things – which, as Heir and I discovered, are retractable if a vehicle needs to pass through. Pretty slick ! Several fruitcakes in the area, protesting one thing or another, but they looked pretty harmless.

The Heir was much impressed with the Smithsonian’s Air and Space Museum, a place guaranteed to be of interest to boys of all ages, including El Jefe. Three real Apollo spacecraft in the place (Apollo 11, Skylab 4, and an un-flown capsule used as a test article), a real Lunar Module, Gemini and Mercury capsules, a Russian Soyuz, plus an SS-20 IRBM posed next to its counterpart, the US Pershing II. There were lots of planes: a DC-7 airliner, Lindbergh's Spirit of St. Louis, a Dauntless dive-bomber, a F4F Wildcat Navy fighter -- miles and miles of fabulous stuff. The place was full of tourists, including brigades of earnest-looking Chinese with military haircuts and notebooks, who all seemed very interested in the space artifacts.

Spent some time in the National Gallery of Art (on the Mall, between 4th and 7th Streets, by the National Archives). It would be quite possible to spend days in any of these museums, so one needs to decide what to see. Fortunately, we visited the National Gallery the first day, when SWMBO could accompany us: and SWMBO and I have different tastes in art. SWMBO and Heir went elsewhere and left me alone with the objects of my interest: 18th and early 19th Century French and Spanish paintings. I spent most of my limited time in those galleries. The National Museum has a beautiful collection of paintings by the Spanish artist Francisco de Goya.

I spent a lot of time in front of Don Antonio Noriega (1801). Goya’s subject, King Charles IV’s Lord Treasurer, is a central-casting image of a wealthy, proud, arrogant Spanish Don of the 18th-19th Centuries: splendidly elaborate uniform, paunchy, expression somewhere between dignified, humourless and petulant, with a dash of irritation thrown in. Rouged cheeks, court wig just so, chestful of medals and orders of one type or another. Don Antonio looks terribly pleased with himself, and utterly unconvinced of anybody’s importance save his own.

Another interesting Goya is Victor Guye (1810), a six or seven year old page to King Joseph I, the Bonaparte king of Spain during the Napoleonic Wars. Victor Guye was the nephew of one of King Joseph, and Napoleon’s, generals, Baron Nicolas Phillipe Guye – evidently there is a companion portrait of Baron Guye someplace -- both pictures were commissioned from Goya by Baron Guye for his brother, Victor’s father. Apparently Goya got on well with everybody, because a few spots down from Victor Guye is a painting of the Duke of Wellington, great British adversary of the House of Bonaparte. The most arresting feature of Goya’s view of the Iron Duke was his portrayal of the Duke's eyes: Wellington has the thousand-yard stare. Unfortunately, the image I have linked to doesn’t do Goya's portrayal of the coldness of his eyes justice. Not a man I’d want to cross. A hard, hard man. A great general.

Just adjacent to the Goyas are my favorite works, French neo-classical/romantic paintings of the late 18th/early 19th centuries. Naturally, I spent a long, long time in front of Jacques-Louis David’s picture The Emperor Napoleon in His Study at the Tuileries. Attentive readers and persons who know El Jefe have probably figured out by now that I am just a bit of a Bonapartist, and this particular painting is one of the holy of holies in the Napoleonic art firmament. Virtually no illustrated biography of the Emperor is without this picture.
The artist described the portrait thus: "He [Napoleon] is in his study. . . . The candles flickering and the clock striking four remind him that the day is about to break. . . . He rises. . . to pass his troops in review." Napoleon is attired in his favorite uniform of a colonel of the Foot Grenadiers of the Imperial Guard (his own regiment), next to him is a chair with the symbol of his dynasty: the bees that replaced the fleur-de-lys of the Bourbon kings. A copy of Plutarch conveys the Emperor’s resemblance, both as soldier and lawgiver, to Julius Caesar, Augustus Caesar and the other great figures of Roman history; scrolls of his great legal and legislative achievement, the Code Napoleon are in the chair.

The Emperor is not, however, a snappy dresser: note the unbuttoned cuff (pointed out to El Jefe by the Smithsonian's guard); as well as the somewhat mussed hair.

Could spend all day on these paintings (and in a letter I’m preparing for a friend, and in my personal journal, I probably will dwell on all of them at length), but I will comment here on only two others. In the same room with Napoleon is another work, identified as being painted by somebody “in the circle of Jacques-Louis David” called “Portrait of a Young Woman in White” (1798). Quelle-belle demoiselle ! A gorgeous woman, in a rather low-cut, almost sheer white dress, probably a somewhat risqué subject for a painting in 1798 (but the period between the fall of the kings, in 1792, and the rise of Napoleon in 1799 was pretty risqué). The facial expression is interesting, a beautiful mouth, and expressive eyes, (if an overlarge nose) but an exceedingly bored expression.

Look at Portrait of a Young Woman and then walk right across the room and have a look at David’s portrait of Madame David (his wife) (1813). Fifteen years and a social revolution separate these two paintings. If Young Woman was a bit avant-garde for its day, Madame David illustrates a representative of well-off, proper, establishment French society. The Napoleonic regime looked down on the loosening of public morals produced by the revolution, and to some degree successfully imposed or re-imposed bourgeois social values. One big secret of the French Revolution was that the revolutionaries, and beneficiaries of the revolution like Napoleon didn’t want to overthrow the kings and royalty so much as replace them. The liberals became conservatives once they had power.

I was dragged out of the National Gallery of Art after a time, and we moved on to the Museum of American History. A beautiful collection there, but I have never liked the Museum of American History’s building much. I like the 19th and early 20th Century Gilded Age government buildings in Washington, all columns and domes and granite. The Museum of American History, like most new government buildings in Washington, like our Federal Courthouse here in Houston, is post World War II and thus boring.

If the American History museum is housed in a boring looking building, the same cannot be said of its contents. Again, you have to choose what you want to see, and the Heir and I focused on the sections devoted to the American presidents and to American wars. Highlights of the American History museum included a piece of armour plate off the C.S.S. Virginia, and the Field-Marshal’s baton of the German World War II era Generalfeldmarshall Werner von Blomberg (1878-1946), who was Hitler’s Minister of War from 1933-38. Field-Marshal von Blomberg had, in retrospect, the great good fortune to be forced out of his official positions in a juicy little scandal prior to the war. Generalfeldmarshall vonBlomberg's baton is a garish thing, grey leather, with brass ends; with lots of Iron Crosses, Eagles and Swastikas all over it. von Blomberg's name, and the date the baton was conferred, are on a white band at the bottom (von Blomberg was the first of Hitler's Field-Marshals).

I have more to say, saw lots more cool stuff, but El Jefe is running out of gas. The sandman is calling…hopefully with a bottle of brandy, a cigar and one of El Jefe’s Marilyn Monroe look-a-like mistresses from the Dream Palace. Perhaps more tomorrow.

Happy Thanksgiving

El Jefe has returned, in a better frame of mind. More about his trip after Thanksgiving.
Today, sitting round the tables with our families, it is an appropriate time for us all to reflect on God's blessings and favors to ourselves and our families, and to ask for his continued protection and favor to us, our families and our country.
All sorts of serious news to comment on, but that awaits a later time also. Gravest of all, of course, is the news that Jessica Simpson and her Boy Toy have split. (Hat tips: T, plus Drudge/Us Magazine). Shocker ! A Hollywood split ! Who'd a thunk it ?

Friday, November 18, 2005

That Dark Star Again

All sorts of things worthy of attention, including a pusillanimous resolution on Iraq in the Senate. However, I am still in somewhat of a funk, and not really in the mood to blog. It's about all I can do for the moment just to work. From tomorrow, I am away for a few days, so hopefully El Jefe's morale improves.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Is that all ?

AP says that the US government has detained 83,000 "foreigners" in the past four years of the War on Terror ? So few ? By all means, let innocent persons caught up in the net go, if we can figure out who they are, but we can keep the Al Qaeda, Taliban and the hard-core Baathists in Iraq till they rot as far as I'm concerned.
Here's to the next 83,000.

Your Name Here

The Texas town of Clark, near Fort Worth, has renamed itself “DISH” to get ten years of free satellite television service from The Dish Network. The town’s hundred or so residents get free basic service and a free digital video recorder/satellite receiver.
One hopes that the Dish Network throws in couches for all the new potatoes. Dish, Texas joins the proud ranks of places and institutions that prostitute their names and pasts for a mess of pottage. Formerly this pernicious practice was mostly restricted to stadiums and games: “Vitalis Sun Bowl,” the “SBC Cotton Bowl,” the “Nokia Sugar Bowl,” “Minute Maid Park.”

Yes, yes, I'd like free satellite TV too. But where does it stop ? Why don’t we just do this with whole states ? The country even ? I think they're already doing it with planets and stars -- seems like I've read about outfits which purport to be able to sell buyers rights to name particular stars. Will “Microsoft Texas” get us all free Windows upgrades ? Then again, maybe I could quit my day job if I renamed this blog the "Kingdom of Hooters."
It would be priceless if the Dish Network turned right round and sold the naming rights. How about "Home Shopping Channel, Texas ?" "Al Jazzera, Texas ?" Or maybe "Penthouse, Texas ?"

No escape from popular culture. Surrounded by plebeians. Enough to drive you wacko.

Under a Dark Star

El Jefe is usually certain that he is Felix – fortunate, one of Fortune’s Favorite’s in fact. Okay, not real prepossessing looking, not a rocket scientist, or mega millionaire, or a rock star, but life has generally made up for this in other ways. El Jefe has a good life and is usually certain that the Big Guy Upstairs, or whatever underling he has deputized to watch over the operations of Gang Bosses like El Jefe -- takes care of things.

No doubt, in the Big Picture view of things, he does, but recent events, some frightening, some inconvenient, some depressing, (fortunately, none serious in the earthshaking, life or death REALLY UNLUCKY sense), combined with a serious case of Writer's Block have made even El Jefe wonder whether he is under a Dark Star, yea, whether Fortune, as it did to Great Caesar on that very Bad Day in Pompey’s Curia, has deserted him. Dark Star, Big Cloud, Bad Mojo, whatever.
No doubt Gaius Julius Caesar Dictator, could El Jefe but ask him, would know the appropriate sacrifice to propriate the Gods: that which would make Fortuna Primigenia turn her beneficent gaze once more on the world of El Jefe and his friends, family and enterprises. But alas, Gaius Julius is long gone, except to an old friend's Ouija board, and in any case, we live in a more “civilized” time. In any case, events over the past couple of days make El Jefe even more certain that he won’t be sorry to see the back of 2005.

Monday, November 14, 2005

On the Public Service

Patriae Inserviendo Consumor (“I am consumed in the service of my Fatherland”)
Motto of Prince Otto von Bismarck
The BBC reports today that California Governor Ahh…nold Schwarzenegger has received a rapturous welcome from hundreds of adoring Chinese fans, and that the police had to rescue the Governor from friendly crowds in Beijing

Governor Schwarzenegger is in China on several errands: promotional events for the Special Olympics, and conversations with Chinese political and business leaders on, inter alia, trade between China and California, and intellectual property theft, a subject near and dear to the hearts of movers and shakers in California.

I am glad to see people giving the Governor such a warm welcome. No doubt he needed it after his State’s voters decisively rejected his reform proposals last week.

I make jokes about everything – but my tasteless quips about Ahh…nold aside, I quite admire the man. Were it legal, I wouldn’t mind Governor Schwarzenegger being President Schwarzenegger, and that’s a hell of a concession for me to make to a person of foreign birth. I don’t agree with the Terminator about a lot of things, but everything he has gotten in this life, he has most assuredly earned.

But this is true of many people. What is most admirable to me about Governor Schwarzenegger is that he does not have to be Governor – does not need it, but just does the job anyway. Ahh..nold is famous almost beyond imagining, has instant entrée in the most important social and political circles in this country and Europe, has a gorgeous wife, four children, more money than he could ever spend – and he still puts up with being Governor. Certainly, there is an element of vanity in it: perhaps even the predominant element, but this is present in all politicians and leaders. However, ambition is often laudable: this man could have an easier life, but he is, to a degree, sacrificing his ease to the public service.

Governor Schwarzenegger could tell the people of California to take their job and shove it, and, after last week, most people of sense could understand him doing so, and would sympathize. Yet there he is this week, in China, doing California’s business. Yes, yes, to some degree it’s a junket, and he gets the adulation of the crowd, gets to meet big-shots, eat at their banquets and engage in interesting repartee. He also gets to spend his evenings with briefing books, staffers who know too much, and the telephone; all so he can receive gratuitous advice from lobbyists, experts and fixers who need him to do something in China, and whom are all certain they know more than some pretty-boy actor. Oh yes, also letters from lunatics, insults from cranks and wrangling with legislators. All this as head of the minority party in his state, which is chock-full of ingrates and rivals and believers in a free lunch.

Nobody will thank Ahh….nold, but he shows up for work anyway. Good on you, sir. Patriae Inserviendo Consumor.

Have You Ever ?

I do love questionnaires and surveys. Somebody e-mailed me this one...

Have you ever...

smoked a cigarette ? yes
smoked a cigar ? yes
crashed a friend's car ? yes
crashed your car ? yes
stolen a car ? no
been in love ? yes
been dumped ? yes
been in a fist-fight ? yes
had feelings for someone who didn't have them back ? yes
been arrested ? no
been hunting ? yes
gone on a blind date ? no
stolen a kiss ? no
had a crush on a teacher ? yes
written a love letter ? yes
skipped school ? yes
gotten a raise ? yes
played hooky from work ? yes
been on a plane ? yes
been on a boat ? yes
been on a ship ? yes
thrown up in a bar ? no
been a crime victim ? yes
taken painkillers ? yes
laid on your back and watched clouds go by ? yes
made a snow angel ? no
played dress up ? no (cept for parties and Halloween)
cheated while playing a game ? yes (only cheat codes in video games)
fallen asleep at work/school ? yes
kept a diary ? yes
felt an earthquake ? no
seen a volcano ? no
been in a hurricane ? no
touched a snake ? yes
owned a gun ? yes
run a red light ? yes
been suspended from school ? no
had detention ? no
been in a car accident ? yes
hated the way you look ? always
witnessed a crime ? no
square danced ? yes
pole danced ? no
questioned your heart ? yes
been lost ? yes
been to the opposite side of the country ? yes
cried yourself to sleep ? no
played cops and robbers ? yes
sung karaoke ? yes
done something you told yourself you wouldn't ? yes
done something you told yourself you shouldn’t ? yes
done something you told yourself you couldn’t ? yes
laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose ? yes
caught a snowflake on your tongue ? yes
sung in the shower ? yes
been married ? yes
been separated ? no
been divorced ? no
had a dream that you married someone ? yes
glued your hand to something ? no
worn the opposite sex's clothes ? no
been a cheerleader ? no
sat on a roof top ? yes
didn't take a shower for a week ? no
played chicken ? no
driven while intoxicated ? yes
been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on ? yes
been told you're hot by a complete stranger ? no
broken a bone ? yes
been easily amused ? yes
shown poor judgment about people ? often
laughed so hard you cried ? no
cried so hard you laughed ? no
mooned/flashed someone ? no
forgotten someone's name ? yes
slept naked ? yes
gone skinny dipping in a pool ? yes
gone skinny dipping in a pond/lake ? yes
been kicked out of your house ? no
blacked-out from drinking ? no
played a prank on someone ? yes
gone to a late night movie ? yes