Over at American Power blog, Professor Douglas calls attention to send-ups of St. Barack's "victory tour" in the Washington Post and in USA Today. The Sainted One's "presumptuous arrogance" Professor Douglas correctly notes, could lead to a stunning loss. Well, from the Professor's pen to God's pad, let's hope. In this same vein, commenter (and blogger) "Educated Shoprat" notes that: "They said that 'God Himself couldn't sink the Titanic' but down she went. Hubris is the enemy of the great, near-great, and self-deluded."
Maybe, but I dunno. . .
If St. Barack had been on Titanic, it would have been a totally different tale. First, St. Barack would have equalized the wealth of first class and steerage, thus assuring all that the voyage across the icy cold North Atlantic was total Nirvana for the poor immigrants seeking a better life in the New World (room for lots and lots more with St. Barack on board); and a wonderful happy crossing for even the ship's rats.
Then, the Great One would have used his tough presidential diplomacy to influence Captain Smith to ignore the evil demands of J. Bruce Ismay (symbol of the corporate greed fostered by Republicans) to go faster than a fuel-efficient 55 mph. The Man of Hope would have further prevailed on Captain Smith to reverse the failed lookout policies of the Bush administration, and to pay his lookouts a fair Union wage rather than outsourcing their work to China.
Once the ship hit the iceberg, St. Barack would have immediately implemented allocation of lifeboat space based on the best affirmative action principles. He would have convened earnest and determined academic study groups seeking input from all parts of the community to prepare a thesis on the best, fairest, most PC way to allocate lifeboat space, to ensure that the contributions of the poor, passengers of color, the differently-abled, and those of diverse sexual preferences were taken into account. (The target date for completion of the study would be mid-1913).
In the meantime, St. Barack's friend, Reverend Wright, could sermonize the passengers on the sins of America, leading them in rousing renditions of Nearer My God to Thee, St. Barack and the Internationale. Meanwhile, down in steerage, St. Barack's other pal, Bill Ayers, would be busily forming SDS ("Steerage for a Democratic Society") and planning the revolution against the first class passengers. Michelle's there too, inspiring the crew manning the pumps to truly Stakhanovite efforts: "Barack . . .will require you to work. . . come out of your isolation, that you move out of your comfort zones. That you push yourselves to be better. And that you engage. Barack will never allow you to go back to your lives as usual, uninvolved, uninformed."
With St. Barack aboard, the Titanic passengers have really Got Hope. On the boat deck, St. Barack gives up waiting on the blue-ribbon academic panel to come up with a lifeboat-allocation plan, reverse the rotation of the world, stop the Iranian nukes, and make the crops grow. He puts his "community organizer" persona into overdrive, leading the crew in rhythmic chants of "Yes We Can ! Yes We Can !" Inspired, the crew swings into action, patches the hole in Titanic and (powered by hot air from MoveOn.org) steams that puppy right into New York, running over Hillary Clinton as the ship makes port.
St. Barack saves the ship, and gets Kate Winslet (plus the "Heart of the Ocean" for good measure). Titanic, refitted, is renamed St Barack's Hope and given a new figurehead, that says "Vero possumus" and looks suspiciously like a presidential seal. A grateful world yawns, and gives St. Barack the keys to the White House, the Vatican and the Executive Washroom. Savior Barack is packed right off on a European tour, where Katie Couric and the world media swoon and go ga-ga as the Sainted One makes World Peace Surpassing All Understanding, for All Time to Come. . .