Thursday, December 2, 2004

Lost Opportunity

According to the AP, 200 masked men and women of the “First Suicide Commando Unit” of the “Headquarters for Commemorating Martyrs of the Global Islamic Movement" held an organizational meeting today at a Tehran, Iran cemetery to pledge their willingness to carry out murder-suicide bomb attacks against Americans and Israelis.
El Jefe memo to Jihad marketing: do something about the names of these groups ! Shell out some cash and get somebody to come up with some catchier names. “Headquarters for Commemorating Martyrs of the Global Islamic Movement" just don't look good on a business card. At least abbreviate.
Anyway, the HCMGIM spokesman, some worthy named Ali Mohammadi, promised: “Sooner or later we will bury all blasphemous occupiers of Islamic lands.”
Burial. Now there’s a thought. Okay, the meeting’s at a cemetery, 200 or so of them together all in a bunch, and they wanna die, right ? Hmmmm, too bad we couldn’t have obliged them with an air strike or four from, maybe, some guys over Iraq who got “lost” or something ? I mean, another one of those win-win deals El Jefe sometimes talks about. They wanna be dead, we want them dead, and they’re conveniently lined up for us at the cemetery. Saves transportation and disposal, and the Iranians get lots of cleared land in Tehran for urban renewal projects. Just one of those deals we missed. Why oh why can’t things ever be convenient ?

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